Again.

After a whole pack of panadol and still no improvement, I resorted to chinese herbal meds (and more panadol). Hey, I think it’s actually working after 3 bitter bowlfuls. My respiratory system seems to be extremely reactive to smoke/haze; thanks to the Bukom fire last week I’ve been coughing & sneezing my brains out. Not happy at all.

Being unwell, somehow makes me feel somewhat, empty. Sure, my parents still take care of me and get me medicine but, I feel like I haven’t found that part of me that I lost over a year ago. That part of me, it’s still empty, somehow. I miss having that someone who endlessly fusses over me as if having a cold was something life-threatening. It’s funny, in a way, those bittersweet memories. They make you smile for awhile, but they can also bring tears to your eyes. It’s the kind of thing I think about every now and then, the things that get forced to the back of my head. I know there is so much more I need to do with my life, and it scares me sometimes, especially when you’re pretty much on your own.

I keep ending up in situations I don’t want to be in, but, could these be situations I NEED to be in? If so, WHY? I have questions, but no answers, yet.

Over the past week, new opportunities have presented themselves, I’m still working through them. Right now I just want to recover from this “virus” cos it’s really messing with my productivity.

Don’t mind me, I’m not always this depressing. xx

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