The Reason Why…

…I stopped asking,

Has anyone ever questioned the practicality of asking for advice from people who are often stuck in the same situation as ourselves?

Say we are fresh out of a relationship gone wrong, or stuck in a dilemma whether to hang on or let go, the first thing we do is to start asking the people around us, “What do you think i should do now?”

Right? But what we never considered is, that these are the very people who are equally clueless! They’re probably around the same age, maybe younger, maybe a little older, but generally, given the same situation, how many of them can we say have succeeded? If you’re really lucky, give it a 10% chance.

The truth is, we ask for advice, not so much to heed it, we ask for advice hoping to gain assurance that the decision that’s already in our head is the right decision to make. Is it right? Is it wrong? Should I do this instead of that?

The only advice you’re gonna get is probably what you already know. A friend can tell you what he/she thinks, but in that moment, you forget that what you’re hearing is but from experience, and no two situations are the same, because no two hearts are the same either. Just because a solution worked for a friend, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you.

When I came to that realisation, it’s like I got kicked in the head. For months, I was listening to what everyone was telling me I should do, pushing everything I felt I myself felt I should do to the back of my mind.

You can’t take everything your friends say as bible truth. They respond to what you tell them, and what you tell them might not be everything that makes up the situation. The bottom line is,

If you really want to live life and be happy, stop doing the things that are “socially correct”. Stop doing things that people say you should do, stop doing things against your own will just so it seems like you’re doing the right thing. In the end, all you will feel is more frustrated than ever.

And if in the end it all comes to naught, at least you know, you lived life by your own rules. If you must seek advice, if you want to learn about how to get past the hardships of life and if you want to know if love really exists, don’t count on answers from your friends…

Ask the old couple who stroll hand in hand in the park everyday. They are the ones who have truly made it.

♥ jean

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